Monday 4 April 2011

First appointment nerves

Roll up, roll up and welcome to the Elly Beans emotional roller coaster ride! For the bargain price of nothing, today you can experience an exhilarating rush of anxiety as you plunge into a corkscrew of rumour and the unknown, and then hold onto your hat as you are driven head first into a loop the loop of fear and misunderstanding - what an adventure!


Yes, today is our first appointment with the midwife. Today I'm 11 weeks pregnant, and it's now five weeks since I went in to see my GP and have that first professional pregnancy test.

I'd like to say the weeks have flown but they haven't - I've been ticking off the dates every day until this point, willing the appointment to come round quicker, but also warding it off because today is the day fact and reality collides with our dreams and fantasy.

While I'm longing for good news, my instinct is to shy away from bad, and I'm nervous about how today will go. I'm not good at health appointments generally. I had to have a simple blood test in January and spent days fretting about it. My tendency to worry and think the worst really comes into its own where my health is concerned!

But I think it's natural to have some anxiety today. The Boy and I both want this so much, and I'm sure every woman or couple who really want a baby are desperate for good news at this point. The Boy has taken the time off work to come along with me, which will be a great support - as always.





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