Tuesday 24 May 2011


I feel a little bit thrown as I write this, as the Father who is conducting the funeral tomorrow has left me a voice message asking if there are any special readings we would like, and if so to bring them along. I hadn't thought of preparing anything which leaves me feeling a little guilty. I'm concerned now what else I might have forgotten. And while I'm so impressed with the hospital's level of care, I feel a bit overwhelmed by the detail that is going into the funeral. I'm not sure it's entirely helpful for the Boy and I - but I suspect it may become more so in time.

There are two poems I have read since we lost the baby, which have helped me to think about baby Beans in a happier light. Perhaps we can use one of them for the reading... I will discuss this with the Boy when we are both home from work tonight and see what we would find most useful and appropriate. My heart aches with sadness and loss when I read the poems in my head, so I am fearful how sad tomorrow will be. But I suppose it must be thus, to let us mourn, say goodbye, and begin to walk out of the shadows and into the light once again.

Little Snowdrop
The world may never notice if a snowdrop doesn't bloom,
Or even pause to wonder if the petals fall too soon.
But every life that ever forms or even comes to be
Touches the world in some small way for all eternity.
The little one we longed for was swiftly here and gone,
But the love that was then planted is a light that still shines on.
And though our arms are empty our hearts know what to do,
Every beating of our hearts says that we love you.

Gone too soon
This was a life that hardly begun
No time to find your place in the sun
No time to do all you could have done
But we loved you enough for a lifetime.

No time to enjoy the world and its wealth
No time to take life down off the shelf
No time to sing the song of yourself
Though you had enough love for a lifetime.

Those who live long endure sadness and tears
But you'll never suffer the sorrowing years
No betrayal, no anger, no hatred, no fears
Just love, enough love for a lifetime.

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