Staying put

I'm feeling a little bit disappointed as I write this, as we had some rather bad news from the mortgage advisor at the Boy's bank, and from an independent broker yesterday. It seems unless we have a bigger deposit that 10 per cent to put down, we're not in a great position to get a mortgage. So, for now at any rate, we won't be moving away from Borough.

I think it's a mixture of good and bad news really, I keep changing my mind about it! The bad feelings I have are because I would have loved us to be in a new home before the new baby arrives. I was ready to start kitting out a nursery and to have a garden, and a bit more space - to live somewhere that feels like a family home rather than a couple's pad. It would have been great to have more space so our families, my Mum or the Boy's Mum could have spent a few days with us and helped out if things were difficult.

But there are good feelings too and the longer I ponder the equation of variables, the more I wonder if this could be a blessing in disguise. This gives us more time to get our finances totally in order, we don't need to move and we know all our financial outgoings now down to the last penny, so we know we can afford a baby where we are. We also have enough space - there is a little alcove in the lounge where we currently have the computer and office set up. We plan to get rid of the office area and make it into a cosy little place for the baby, with the cot there. I feel excited thinking about that and I know we can make it as special and nice as we'd want it to be.

It also means we have no serious upheaval before the baby arrives. With moving you never know what is going to happen - we could have ended up not moving for six months, when I would have been touching eight months pregnant which would have been a nightmare. My head has certainly been feeling the strain of worrying about a new baby, selling our flat and buying a flat - now I can 100 per cent concentrate on the baby and being a Mum. And that's more than special enough for now!