Thursday 18 August 2011

But for the grace of God

Bear with me while a quick sulk and stamp of foot is needed, then all can resume to normality. I'm a bit of a hot, cross bun this morning and am feeling an irrational crossness this morning with the number of people who post pictures and news of their pregnancies on social networking sites when they are at very early stages, some even just a few weeks in. I know it's irrational because it's one of the most exciting pieces of news a person can have and no wonder they want to share it with all and sundry. And everyone has the right to decide to tell their news at the time they see fit.

I suppose it annoys me two-fold. Firstly because we waited until the 12 weeks to tell people, but we were so unlucky that just a week or so after that, things went wrong for us and it wasn't to be. And secondly, because we're not pregnant any more. I'd have loved to put up pictures of scans and an ever-increasing bump (we'd decided we would after the 20-week scan) to share with friends and family on these sites, but of course it wasn't to be for us. This time. So when I see other people's happy news it pricks at my heart.

Like most things that irk me at the moment, I know this is all about me and where I am with my process, and not to do with what other folks think or say. And while I think both the Boy and I are doing really well, in a week when I've had a negative pregnancy test and can't help but be reminded I would have been nearly seven months pregnant by now, it's bound to be a test seeing others enjoy their pregnancies and go through the experience so joyfully and peacefully. I hope so much we have that chance one day.

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