Friday 15 July 2011

Off on our jollies

Woke up early this morning really excited about going on holiday this afternoon. The Boy and I are going to a lovely cottage in Orford for a week, with my Mum, Dad, sister and her feller. It is to celebrate my parents' 40th wedding anniversary which is really quite something - I hope the Boy and I can enjoy so many years together. I feel ready for a change of scene too. I know it's not long since we got back from Greece but it's been non-stop the past few weeks. I've ridden out a complete rollercoaster of emotions and feel pretty exhausted again. Hopefully a week in the countryside - and by the sea, where I always find peace - will help bolster me up once again, and I'll come back feeling ready for the next few months life has to throw at us.

I've been a real ball of emotions this week. A minor altercation with a woman on the tube on the way to work on Tuesday morning really upset me and I've been a bundle of anxiety and ire since then. The Boy and I started the holidays early last night with a trip to the cinema. We have cinema cards that enable us to see as many films a month as we like, and while I was pregnant we were going all the time - a couple of times a week even! Since we lost the baby we've started to go out for more meals and drinks, and I'm keen when we get back from Suffolk to get back to being a film geek / buff (depending on your outlook!).

We went to see Bridesmaids which was great fun and every bit as good as the reviews have suggested, and I did enjoy the film. It has a strong cast and the personalities and relationships were real and believable. There was a poignancy amongst the comedy and parts that I really related too. But I suddenly became overwhelmed in the middle and burst into tears. I think silent sobbing in the cinema is in danger of becoming my calling card at this rate - perhaps not my best look! I'm not sure still what upset me, I'd be feeling happy enough before the film and it had been wonderful walking out of work for a week or so. The yo-yoing of emotions makes me wonder what's happening inside of me and being a little hopeful. But I think it's really a combination of grief for what's passed, anxiety of what's to come, and the tiredness I feel in the here and now. Definitely time for a holiday...

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