Monday, 8 August 2011

The most terrible time

I saw in the weekend's papers that Kelly Brook has spoken out about her miscarriage. She has described it as "the hardest, most terrible time in my life". I really empathise with her. For the Boy and I losing our baby was the most painful experience we have been through, and for Kelly to have lived out her loss in the public eye and in the media must have been even more devastating. I can't imagine what it must have been like for her - I felt like such a failure in front of my friends, family and colleagues, and for Kelly to have had her tragedy splashed on the front pages of the red tops must have been incredibly difficult.

I really applaud her for speaking out so bravely about what she has been through and I find her words a huge comfort. In my opinion, going through a miscarriage can be a very lonely experience. I've found that while the Boy and I were very lucky to have so much love and support at the beginning, of course people's lives move on and they forget what you have been through or choose not to talk about it for fear of upsetting us. But the Boy and I will never forget. I've found lately that I can feel lonely at times with my loss, but Kelly's words reach out from the pages to me and remind me it is an experience shared - sadly - by many others and paradoxically there is a reassurance in that. I am reminded we are not alone, and therein lies the irony of both more sadness that so many others suffer, yet more comfort that we are not the only ones.

Kelly's full words were: "It was the hardest, most terrible time of my life. You feel emptiness, sadness, guilt, loss. I take it one day at a time. One moment you don't even think about it, the next you're crying hysterically. But it's complicated isn't it? There are moments of total sadness and devastation, and moments of relief too. But you also have to remember that it's life. Stuff like that happens."

I don't think I could have explained the last few months better, or summed it up any more cohesively myself. I really thank Kelly for being able to share her loss in such a human and dignified way, and I hope other ladies - and their Boys - going through a dark time are able to take some comfort from her words in the way that I have.


  1. After having 3 miscarriages in the last 10 months, including a late one like Kelly - I've discovered that it really is a taboo subject, even in this day and age. So it is refreshing and like you say comforting to hear someone open up about their experience.
    I'm so sorry for your loss - your words have really touched me, and I'm glad you are starting to feel better x

  2. Kim I'm so sorry to hear of your losses, I can't imagine how difficult the last 10 months have been for you. I'm glad my words touched you, and I hope life deals us a gentler card soon x